thinkers wife

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Posts by thinkers wife

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  13

  I was such a b_tch

  by Pierced Angel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a witness:.

  i used to think they were materialistic, wordly and didn't raise their kids right.. i used to tell my non-jw husband that if he didn't come to the meetings that we wouldn't be together forever.

  i'd say that when he'd say something like "i'll love you forever".

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  thinkers wife

  P,
  I think if we don't feel some guilt over our well intentioned self-righteousness, we still have a lot to learn.
  What we do now is the important thing. Can't keep beating ourselves up for what was ingrained in us. But we can try to make up for it!
  Hugs for your honesty!!
  TW
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  27

  My Story

  by Commie Chris in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive been lurking hear for a few weeks.

  heres my story:.

  i was raised in a catholic family in toronto and went to catholic schools until grade 9 (age 13).

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  thinkers wife

  Thanks to all of you for sharing your personal experiences. It never ceases to amaze me that so many of us have experienced such similiar things at the hands of the elders.
  IMO, they are very ill equipped to handle the things they claim to have the education and experience to handle. It is a serious question in my mind, they claim to appointed by Holy Spirit. How is it then that so many things are handled badly and to the point of seriously hurting people.
  Chris said it well "small minded, mean spirited little men". How true!
  If there is a God such as they teach then they are very seriously reprehensible in his eyes!
  TW
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  5

  Christina's story

  by espresso in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, this is her story - in her own words, emailed to me and posted with her permission...she could use some support to reassure her that she has made the right decision.

  i'll email her the url this post & your replies.. -e. -----.

  in 1977 the man i was engaged to was a ministerial servant.

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  thinkers wife

  This sickens me. The lies the covering up the abuse of the innocent. And what sickens me even more is that this is so common within the organization. I know, I have lived through some of it. My heart goes out to Christina and her children and grandchildren.
  What worries me is that she apparently doesn't fully realize that the organization is not a true one. Is there anyway we can help her to see their falseness?
  TW
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  26

  Domestic Violence?

  by alamb in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone ever addressed the incidence of domestic violence in witness families?

  i am relatively new here and don't want to cover old ground.. thinking back, i can name multiple examples of households in each congregation i attended where domestic violence was evident.. i have an active protective order against my ex.

  who is still active in the congregation he attends.

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  thinkers wife

  A Lamb and to all,
  Abuse within the organization? Oh yes!!!
  It breaks my heart to hear all of these horrible things have happened to each and everyone of you.
  For myself, there was no abuse growing up in my family. But I do believe that the things the Society had my parents instill in me set me up for being in an abusive marriage.
  It actually began when I was raped by on of the "annoited" when I was seventeen. He was about thirty and had planned the seduction for about two years. I was publicly reproved he was privately reproved. My parents had a suicide watch on me for about two years. This is what set me up. It shattered my self-esteem. I felt dirty and less. Not good enough for a good "brother". So I married my ex. He started in on me about two weeks after we were married.
  As for emotional abuse verses physical, my counselor many years later once told me emotional is actually worse. Now let me first say that to me any kind of abuse is unpardonable. And abuse affects each and every one of us differently no matter what the form of it is. But she said "When you are physically abused and you have a black eye people can look at you and feel sorry for you. When you are emotionally abused and people can see no signs, except for maybe you are whining or appear to be feeling sorry for yourself, they just look at you and think you should get over it". That stuck with me.
  For me, it makes me over-whelmingly angry to think that because of the Socities rules, I felt I had no choice but to stay with him for almost seventeen years. I was alone and trapped. So many times I wanted to die or worse yet God forbid, I wished him dead. Then I would have to feel horribly guilty for that. It was a mad vicious cycle.
  When he finally did leave me, the elders took over where he left off. Making my life miserable. Basically torturing me for being in an "unscriptural seperation" even though by that time they were very aware of the facts.
  My question became, "Who decides what constitues grounds for seperation". Who decides what is abuse to the point of spiritual endangerment? They have it written in their WT's but you can't use it, because the bottom line is the elders have the power to decide. You have none. If they decide you don't have the grounds, they make your life miserable.
  I did very little talking after he left me. Under direct orders from the elder's. Very sick IMO, because talking and caring is what you need. But Witnesses came out of the woodwork telling me their horror stories. So much abuse, so much terror, so little done to help the victims.
  I was accused of promoting divorce in the congregation. There was another woman at the time, claiming her husband was abusing her. I don't know whether he was or not, she was one of the one's I wasn't sure I fully believed. But truth of the matter is, I had not spoken one word to her about my situation. But still I was labeled as "Jezebel influence" and accused of promoting.
  It still makes me sick to this day to think about all the things the elder's put me through. As if what I was already going through already wasn't enough.
  Abuse in the Borg? Yes indeed. Probably by ratio more than anywhere else. Covered up and excused? Yes indeed. A sad record for an organization who claims to have the only life-saving truth.
  TW
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  35

  What first made you doubt?

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there will be one about what your favourite color is later... .

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  thinkers wife

  I have to go totally with what Blondie and RHW so well said.
  John 13:35 stuck out in my mind. The literature always touted this scripture as an identifying mark of true believers. If you can't base your opinion on the people (men are imperfect) what would that leave you to base it on?
  My mother has tried to sway me on this one, but I see no other way.
  After that, I began to see the doctrinal problems and the damaging policies (ie Mexico vs Rowanda).
  There just was no other way to view it IMO.
  TW
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  12

  Getting to Know You

  by Prisca in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this is a continuation of the "singles" thread i started.

  i may have been a bit vague about how to describe ourselves, and introspection suggested a questionaire-type thing, so below are some questions to get us started.

  freel free to say how much or how little you want.

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  thinkers wife

  This is great!!! Love reading about all of you. Where was this thread when I was single?
  TW
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  11

  Hello and some comments

  by Briand in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i would like to commend all of you for your courage for what you have shared here.

  it is hard to open ones self up and seek healing through the pain.

  it seems often, that which we hold the most dear, our faith, can do the most harm.

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  thinkers wife

  Briand,
  Thank you so much for sharing your insightful post! Interesting to find out there are other very controlling religions out there. I have been vaguely aware of it and even dealt with some people in them when I was still a Witness. One was the Worldwide Church of God. Some very scary things were happening in that religion.
  It is so great of you to share and understand what we are going through even though you have never been a Witness.
  Looking forward to hearing more from you!
  Billy Goat,
  I think that leaving JW's should be listed with the most traumatic things that occur in our life. Right up there with death and divorce!
  TW
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  3

  For cat-loving computer geeks

  by RedhorseWoman in

  1. social
  2. humour

  enjoy: http://www.pro-bono.net/html/cat_manual.html

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  thinkers wife

  RHW,
  You're a nut!!
  TW
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  44

  Wrong date

  by tattoogrl333 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello i'm new to the whole jw study thing, but they said it fell in 607 but due to the advice of others here i looked it up.

  i found in 3 encyclopedia's online that it fell in 586. i printed them out and am going to get more.

  i'm going to show the lady i study with, i'm just curious what you think will happen, and if she will try to deny it.

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  thinkers wife

  Tattoo,
  First of all let me just say, I missed your beginning posts because I was at the beach on vacation for a week. So what I am about to say is based on this post without the benefit of your background.
  As for the dates being wrong, it has already been commented on pretty extensively. But for me who was a witness for some thirty eight years, if the date of 607 is incorrect, which it appears to be, then the whole belief system of JW's comes tumbling down like a house of cards. Because all their predictions and calculations become incorrect. It also negates their own teachings about no one knowing the day or the hour, it shoots down the importance they place on not fixating on a date.
  Briefly on your Bible Study conductor. I had a study with a woman, who studied with me simply because of personality. I never did walk the completely straight and narrow road when I was a Witness. Too free spirited by nature. She and I became the best of friends, with a friendship so deep that, IMO, happens only once in a life time. When we started studying she had a total of nine tatoos. She was very embarrassed by it. I kept telling her not to worry about it. I helped her ignore the looks and the talking behind hands about it.
  In June of 2000 I disassociated myself from the organization. Guess what, my wonderful, once in a lifetime friend refuses to talk to me, because she could get disfellowshipped for associating with me. Heartbreaking for both of us. I just keep hoping she will see the light. I regret deeply that I was the one who taught her the very things that have destroyed our relationship.
  My advice. Do your research and examine your feelings very closely. Don't let your friendship with your study conductor let you make your decision for you!
  TW
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  14

  Elder's Daughter

  by Daisymay in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  greetings and salutations!

  i've commented a couple times on this post and have hung around for a few weeks and thought i'd tell you a little about myself!

  btw...i think this site is awesome and totally therapetic!

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  thinkers wife

  Welcome to the board Daisy May, Individuals Wife, and anyone else I have missed.
  Daisy, you have shown great strength.
  I am amazed, no matter how often I read it or hear it of the atrocities comitted within the org.
  I had my own set of problems, fortunately no abuse within the family.
  But being an elders daughter is no easy task. Especially with three younger brothers. So many of the men in the org. are intimidated by intelligent women. And it still affects me to this day when a man disregards what I say just because I am a woman.
  Just spent the week at the beach and my brother who never got baptized tried to do it again. A real irritation. Now at least, I stick up for myself. Love him anyway. I realize it is a left over and cut him some slack. But it is still difficult at times.
  TW